Philosophy of the Clown

This sci-fi was quite entertaining throughout the first half until its thin columns of characterization collapsed under the pressure of a fast-paced plot.  Then during the last 200 pages I had to routinely remind myself why I cared about anyone in this book, which, to be fair, created a fun mental environment for me.  

For example, there are no countries or states, rather, there are neighborhoods, whose laws hold no reciprocity beyond their respective boundaries.  One such neighborhood is called "Stable", and it is fully enclosed. No one inside is aware that there is an outside world (Truman Show?). Another called, "Color", where our protaganist hails from, has buildings and trains whose walls change color in accordance to your mood.  My favorite neighborhood was "Cat"; there is one called "Sound", with no sound actually, and another called "Idyll."  We visit all of these neat places until the book then takes us into a place called "Jeamland", whose logic is that of a dream.  

Ironically, the author seemingly fell asleep at the wheel at this point, and to make a long story short the good guy wins but who cares.  I threw out this book.  From what I remember, the only book I’ve ever thrown into the trash was "Glamorama" by Bret Easton Ellis.  

I am now going to read "Starfish" by Peter Watts.   

Pound Ridge, NY - While working overtime hours at the local 24 hour highway diner, Frieda Maynard, 54, of Pound Ridge, learned that popping a pill, and subsequently altering her thoughts from a pessimistic viewpoint towards a more positive attitude, worked effectively to dampen the mind numbing pain of reality.  

Afterwards, Frieda was more than happy to elaborate.  "Just a few minutes ago I thought that I wouldn’t be able to swim to the other side of this brutally long day of waste and turmoil.  But heck, don’t you know, I just decided to take control of the formation of my mental objects, pop a pill, and wallllaaa!  Would you like some more coffee!!"  

Frieda went on to sign her name within every upcoming working time slot on the diner calendar, and ensured her boss that she can be counted on in good times and bad.  

Beijing, China - A team of renowned scientists from around the globe announced the long-awaited discovery of a formula that can be used to distinguish individual Asians apart from each other.  The formula represents the culmination of years of collaborative research among top scientists from multiple fields, and comes at a crucial time when Asia’s population seems to double each year.  

Scientists are now eager to apply the method to ascertain a more precise population estimate after undoubtedly counting the same person thousands of times, for years.     

"We are deeply honored to have been a part of this enlightening breakthrough that will assist the billions, millions, or maybe just the thousands of like-minded Asians who have lingering suspicions about who their real family and friends are," said Standford University Biometrics Specialist Dr. Ming Leu Yun, who claims to harbor doubts towards his wife’s identity and plans on immediately putting the formula to personal use.  

The method of identification involves 8 steps to a positive recognition, and will be available for commercial use once it is determined how many should be produced.  And consumer experts believe it will be a helpful tool for businesses seeking to curtail their employees from the practice of replacing themselves at work during days of lethargy.  

 

 An alleged family of Koreans applauds the discovery

This is quite an imaginative novel entitled, and the first book by a promising new author.  It’s divided into 3 parts, and the action doesn’t really occur until the 3rd part, wherein the first two sections are more like atmospheric meditations on the characters’ responses to violence.  Now I am not the best book reviewer, but I can certainly provide for you some excerpts that shed light upon its power.  The first and last quotes here are titillating: 

 

• Dark figures lie prone on the floor amid overturned chairs and broken glass.  Only the veiled man was standing, wreathed in gunsmoke, lit by a cat’s cradle of thin sunbeams threading through new bullet holes in the walls and roof.
• While his body went on, almost by itself, having its pleasure, his spirits sank further, as the promise of unfamiliar territories receded past a horizon
• At that moment, he realized that he did not exist to her in the same was that he existed in his own perception.  She held a copied version, an interpretation of him, filtered through the matrix of her priorities and desires
• Anyone can wear beauty, but too often strength has no way to show itself and be admired
• For the doomed protagonist, poisen was the sable dart that brought a strange, stylized death; a death with time for soliloquy, one in which the body did not collapse like a broken puppet, but could slowly turn into a statue on the stage, becoming a monument that preserved the meaning of the person

 

Greenwich, CT - Local businessman Michael Murray, never late on a monthy payment and possessing a credit score deemed "perfect", was spotted by neighbors yesterday living a life of complete woe.  Signs that the resident’s soul is drenched in calamity and wretchedness were belied by his perfect credit rating. Statements from Murray responding to his recently discovered state of prolonged anguish and privation were met with a polite smile.  

"Hi there! Come on in and meet the family," said Murray, with sunken eyes that bespoke of catastrophic escapades.  "I appreciate you not walking on my lawn there.  Just re-sodded it yesterday."  

Added Murray, "Thank you." 

According to shocked witnesses, Murray was seen late yesterday evening deep inside the throes of an orgiastic gind-show of meat and bone, returning home immediately afterwards to ensure that a Citi card payment arrived safely and without tribulation.  

Seemingly impervious to inquiries about his transgressive reputation, Murray said, "Boy, did you get catch last night’s football bonanza? What a hoot!" The businessman continued to gaze at reporters from behind a mask of civility.  

After several more moments of heavy silence, Murray’s mailman drove up, inserted items into the mailbox, and departed while both citizens smiled and waved to each other with an air of conviviality. 

Residents are no longer fooled by the facade. "He pulled up his driveway at 6:00 A.M. this morning from what I thought was another long night at the office," said neighbor Wilma Peterson. "Then I noticed the leg protruding from his muffler."  

Scranton, PA - Longtime Scranton resident and former commissioned Navy Officer Harry Bowman desires knowledge with such intensity that he frequently torture others simply to receive it.  Such cravings for knowledge are said to be direct evidence of our educational systems’ efficacy.  

"Harry’s thirst for knowledge had to come from somewhere," says Sociologist Fred Hayward.  "Here is a great example of the end result of years of devoted teachers educating Harry to never give up in his personal quest for enlightenment. And his selfless parents most likely taught him the best methods of beating intelligence from whoever stands near." 

Added Hayward, "His quest for knowledge is everlasting."

Neighbors claim to have Harry’s best interest in mind when avoiding him, believing that his fancy for wisdom is better served by other people and their families.  Fellow apartment complex resident, Henrietta, praised his ability to ask only the simple questions, like "where’s your money?"  

"Harry keeps his questions short and quick with me, but I know his mind has higher goals," says Henrietta.  "One look into his eyes and you realize that he’s constantly questioning the reasoning behind things, like other people’s existence, and inferiority." 

Henrietta went on to answer Harry’s questions about instant death. 

Yesterday this reporter was able to happen upon Mr. Bowman’s presence near his home, wherein he forcefully inquired, "Who the hell are you and why should I let you live?"  Having no time for metaphysical discussions, Harry displayed his insight by offering a compromise and ensuring that his superior learning is displayed via this article.  

Newark, NJ - Archdiocese of Newark Catholic priest Father Samuel Evans died from natural causes yesterday evening, immediately descending into an infinite void of oblivion ruled by his lifelong nemesis, Diabolos. After having lived a devout and faithful life of unabiding adherence to the ‘Word of God’, Father Samuel cannot be reached for a statement at this point.  

Witnesses from the Pearly Gates recall waiting in line for their judgements when Jesus stormed into the show, shoved St. Peter aside and said, "Let me handle this one."   Jesus, in accordance to his fathers’ demands, was required to ask the newly deceased about his thoughts regarding Truth.  Yet Father Samuel was unable to complete the first syllable of his answer when Jesus immediately opened a trap door beneath Samuel’s feet, sending the priest hurtling towards eternal hell-fire.  

Said Jesus, "God I love doing that."

The occurence is rumored to be Jesus’ standard operating procedure with Catholics, specifically their priesthood. When questioned about his reasoning for this, Jesus had the following to say:

"God, where do I start! They blab on and on about doctrines that fly in the face of what I said back in the day.  I say ‘Be like children’, and they go and make up ‘original sin.’  I said ‘know what is in front of your face and all will be revealed to you.’  I can’t put the Truth any simplier than that folks.  Yet these clowns are telling my sheep that Heaven can’t be approached without forgiveness, and fearing God.  Open your eyes people, you’re in Heaven."  

Added Jesus, "For Christ’s sake!" 

Sources within the former Nazareth residents’ inner circle say they agree and fully back his approach towards the hypocrites.  Jesus’ closest buddy, deceased homeless vagrant Joe, says, "When I read that it’s easier for a camel to squeeze through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven, I said fuck it, this guy means business. So I just gave up everything and now I’m rich beyond belief in a sea of everlasting bliss."  

Continued Joe, "Yet those priests pass baskets around for people to throw money into.  They’re practically asking for it." 

Ramsey, NJ - Local resident and Ramapo College student, Ed Morris, ordered a Burger King Whopper yesterday and subsequently bypassed typical eating methods, choosing instead to "destroy" it.  

"My face," said Morris, "was the Whopper’s final memory before it discovered it’s lot on the edifice of oblivion.  Those rumblings in my stomach you now hear are the echoes of its disaster." 

Added Morris, "I should get another Whopper."

Sources near the destruction claim to feel blessed having witnessed the event, but Burger King Corporate is not impressed, and plan to release an ‘Angry Whopper’, which is to be thrown into customers’ faces.  

New York City, NY - Merrill Lynch Chairman and designated President of Global Banking, Securities, and Wealth Management John Thain was seen late Thursday evening entering a closed Wall-Street to stand in solitude amongst trading floor shadows, causing global markets to retreat further towards decline and away from his gaze.  

"We knew Thain was lurking pretty late that night. The Trinity Church and Federal Reserve just looked……I can’t really descibe it……they just looked away," said one witness on condition of anonymity.  "I immediately hid my wallet."  

Knowledge of Mr. Thain’s unassailable social position has long been righteously acknowledged.  But not until this past December was the public made aware of the vehemence of his stare, when a soon to be aquired $10 million bonus avoided the Bore of Thain and opted for non-existence.  

Although Thain rationalized the bonus with claims that he saved Merrill Lynch money by using his chin as a paper shredder, Money is not buying it.  "We will continually move away from the center of the financial world towards corners that the Thain can’t peer into," said a $100 bill.  "He may be my rightful owner, but his glare effects our growth."  

 

 

Cliffside Park, NJ - Local resident and devout online user Demitrius Costa was found dead early evening yesterday immediately after completing an update for his online dating profile.  

Costa, whom neighbors considered to be a well-groomed tenant, was able to notify potential female mates via EHarmony about his "spark" merely seconds before collapsing onto the keyboard.  

His profile remains active, with one notification from another user inquiring about his newly found "sparkkkkkkkkkk."

 

 

A recently enacted law prohibits vehicular cell phone use that would normally be within police officers’ visibility. The law has been met with high praise by the American public who have hailed the law’s call for the non-use of their hands.  

The law also covers driving while text messaging.  "My full time job affords me plenty of time to practice text messaging, so I don’t really need to see the screen to type accurately at this point," said Joseph from Queens, NY. "Now that the Law recognizes my texting-while-driving abilities, I don’t have to raise my phone up while I drive just so other drivers can witness my skill."  

Congress passed the measure without any hindrances, viewing it as the next logical step.  

Mayor Bloomburg says, "Considering that the majority of Americans are raised staring at televisions with a controller that is out of their eyesight, sitting on their laps, the law recreates that feeling of sitting on your couch at home, but behind the wheel of a moving automobile."

The Mayor added, "And research shows the law acts like a soothing effect for the annoyances raised through volition.  Now when Americans are forced to move to another point with their cars, they can rest easy knowing Uncle Sam has recognized their strengths - blind communication, and the talent to stare at environments that their awareness dare not recognize; like roads."  

Lastly, detractors from the law say it’s been a long time coming for Congress to recognize American citizens’ need to be heard by more people simply through the use of a speaker button.  Said another Queens resident, "The law no longer lags!  It ensures that my opinions are being heard by more people while I drive and scream at my phone that sits below the window." 

- Right now I sense that there is always little cracks within moments that seem precarious at first, but will conform to your current mood after you contemplate them. This is where Regret grows, within these cracks you chose to ignore.  

- Today my emotional current drifted towards annoyance, but this was because I had initially set my course towards a positive goal and was being pulled astray by unexpected pleadings.  It was then I recalled my human ability to Choose, not only to Choose my actions, but my Thoughts.  I chose not to give a shit.  

-  To not give a shit is a route towards avoiding Regret. To be indifferent like this is not equivalent to Apathy, because indifference creates an absence of fear, therefore an ability to think clearer.  Apathy is more like being stuck in the wet cement of your fears.  Once the cement dries you will build your fortress of Defense, with Excuse at the front door.  

-  If you knock at the front door of Excuse, it will take a long time because there are many locks.  You cannot convince the person on the other side of the door to unlock any of these because the door of Excuse is, obviously, very thick.  It is here where I would recall what really matters: Choice.  

- Time spent unlocking others from their Apathy is time not spent on raising your towers of Indifference, towers with windows of Clear Thought.  The steps to the top are built upon Choices.  

- When confronted with multiple Choices you should smile, for it is here that nature opens the cracks which let shine through your infinite nature.  Now is when we cease to think and learn to Feel.   

- Now welcome yourself to the Arena of Clowning Around : )  

A few years ago I wrote a short, 1st person fantasy story about what it would be like to deal with a house where someone with compulsive hoarding lived.  It owes a lot of it’s style to my all time favorite writer Thomas Ligotti.  Here it is: 

 With the advent of fear comes hoarding, a common response by frail human beings.  And this fear, with its hoarding companion, had long devastated Prince Ruf’s Kingdom. No personal disaster escaped from its purview.  Even minimal common sense showed that the minor hiccups in Prince Ruf’s life could be traced back to the hoarding within his kingdom. 

This hoarding had clutter for its insignia – the filth and contamination of clutter.  Removing any of this clutter evoked sharp emotions, sudden reversion to childhood, and profuse anxiety in those who staked a claim inside the Prince’s realm, such as King Homer and Queen Mismi. For these two, any removal signified a dreadful step towards facing and conquering their inner fears.  The slightest whisper of insignificant objects being discarded echoed loudly within the hearts of the King and Queen, because they were hollow at their core.  Indeed, the hoarding, and its clutter served to mask their inner voids.

But the Prince was determined and focused and working in-tandem with his two best Knights, Lucas and Sullivan, to conquer the contamination.  During the King’s and Queen’s absence, when his dominion became flooded by the filth, Ruf summoned these two because of their understanding of the potential, deep and profound potential, which lay in the dimly glowing and the twisted depths of his kingdom in Mahwah. 

Sullivan, seemingly possessed by the ecstasies of a dark festival, resolved to leave nothing to the Fear.  He knew that buried at the bottom of each pile of filth lay the emptiness and nothingness of our personal Truth.  This clutter was saturating each corridor with unreality, and every disposal for Knight Sullivan bid defiance to the Fear.  Only a fool gave thought and reluctance to the cleansing that the Prince demanded for his kingdom. 

It was a filthy scene.  Every hoarded object within the castle was darkly vibrant with dust and seemed to be a medium for distant agitations which were felt, but not seen or heard.  All of these things seemed wracked by their own history of denial, culminating in the metamorphosis of decay. To retain such a mass of worthless clutter must have served as some kind of an elixir for the Queen, soothing her increasing agitation, and Knight Lucas understood this quite well.

Because between his ears there was the machinery of rage grinding its gears.  There was his face, radiant with obsessive alcoholic regret.  There was Sullivan trying to display to his fellow Knighted friend, Luke, that disposing the filth was the greatest escape, as if one could exist serenely outside the grotesque ultimatums of creation simply by discarding inessentials. Knight Lucas, if he only eliminated the shrieking and echoing clamor of addiction from his skull, would take notice of Knight Sullivan and watch him become the entranced spectator who casts a clinical gaze at the chaotic tumult.  Watch him cleanse the kingdom’s wretched corridors.  Watch him kill the clutter, and reveal our empty Truths. 

Anyone who knows me well understands my incessant need to nakedly run amok through town during the afternoons, chasing old ladies and screaming at animals.  Well, I decided to halt these plans for today because it’s cold.  Damn cold.  

And so being inside, clothed, afforded me the opportunity to conduct an interview, with myself.  I have inserted an excerpt from this interview with myself below.  It’s confusing at first, then it gets worse. 

 

I: Hello, thanks for coming inside today.  How is Myself doing?  

Myself:  No problem.  I am doing great actually.  

I: Yes, I know how I am doing.  I was asking how you, Myself, are doing.

Myself: Oh right, well, I’m…..I mean….oh….just fine myself here.  Myself is great!  Thanks.  Anyway…we don’t have much time here, so let’s get this interview going.  Shall we? 

I: We shall.   Firstly, I was wondering what you do with Yourself all day, besides, of course, run through towns naked.

Myself:  Actually, haven’t been spending time with Yourself lately, more just with Myself, and you, like right now.  But I Myself can see what you’re asking.   Philosophy has taken up much of my time recently.

I: Really, what have You been reading?  

Myself:  Well, not really sure what You have been reading, but time spent with Myself among philosophy books about metaphysics and aesthetics has been well spent recently.  Just today I was reading Gilles Deleuze….

I:  No I wasn’t.

Myself: Oh right, no, You weren’t.  I mean, I wasn’t.  No, I Myself don’t mean that "I" was.  Sorry.  Let’s just use a full name here to avoid confusion, shall we?  I Myself was absorbing Deleuzian thought recently, and other such philosophers of the like.  In fact, it’s his readings which created an inspiration within Myself to create a blog.  

I:  Within myelf?  

Myself:  Yea.  Haven’t you gone within yourself to seek inspiration.  Has not an outside entity, for example a book, ever inspired within you the motivation to create something?  

I:  Well, You would be pretty upset if he knew that we were discussing what’s within him, but myself for example, I have not been motivated like that.     

Myself: Wait, why did you just use myself as an example?  Didn’t we just ask me?   

I: Oh, right.  Sorry.  To answer the question, I have not been motivated like that, no.  And neither have You, from what I hear.   

Myself: Yea, where have You been actually?  I Myself have not heard from him.  And I bet he would like Philosophy. 

I:  I don’t bet.  

Myself:  No, You don’t, sorry.  

I:  You do actually.  I don’t.  But we went to AC last weekend.  

Myself:  We did?   

I:  No, we didn’t.  I went with You actually.  And yes, he bets.  But I don’t.  

Myself:  Then why did I go to AC while You bet?   

I:  I went to AC with You because he needed someone to drive him; and I enjoy the ladies, myself.  

Myself:  Oh.  

I:  Yea. Anyway, I hope we can continue this interview at a later time.  It’s lunchtime and I would like to eat alone with myself.  

Myself:  Sorry, can’t make it.  Maybe next time.  And I Myself have never ate alone.  What’s it taste like? 

I like how people immediately compare cats to dogs when the subject comes up.  

"I own a cat."  

"Really, I think dogs are better."  

Wow, great to hear!  But why are you using dogs as a basis for comparison.  

"Hey, I just got a cat."  

"Really,  I think orgasms are better."  

hhmmm…..but don’t orgasms die immediately after you get them? Anyway, cats are favored more by me than dogs are.  The idea of waking up at 5 a.m. to pick up it’s poop is the deal killer here folks.   

When someone says they think, for example, that beauty is sometimes misinterpreted, ask them this:  What is the definition of Beauty?  Now ask them how this definition was arrived at?  Now ask why they buttressed the definition with an assumption of being right? Now they have shown their naked selves through one statement.  Ugly.  

Either -  

Did they arrive at the definition by obtaining knowledge through education, thereby being a misinterpreter prior to your learning? 

Or- 

"Did you come up with this definition of beauty yourself and immediately assume it was correct? That others are in the wrong and you are in the right?"  In other words, verify that they are misunderstanding different Perceptions and Perspectives as misinterpretations of what is correct, which they seem to possess knowledge of.  

They will now see it coming: "So, by misinterpretation you mean that others see things different than you? How Beautiful!"  

 

Curiosity is a flower growing off stems of satisfaction. Not until one sees a similar likeness does the stem grow.  When a similarity enters your field of vision, you become satisfied.  Why?  Because your Being is verified?  If it was verified, then why the underlying Doubt? The answer is that Life is Mysterious and you have not accepted this.  Witnessing your likeness serves to anchor you in the shallow currents of Doubt.  Once satisfied, once doubt is quelled, Curiosity may blossom because it asks nothing beyond Satisfaction.   

Common knowledge has whispered that curiosity is killed when satisfied.  Of course if it grows from satisfaction, then curiosity immediately vanishes upon receiving its needs because needs filter into satisfaction stems that take root upon verification of your Being through witnessing a similar likeness, an event manifest through your Doubt, your inability to accept the Mystery.  This implies that one facet of your being made salient from unverification has been assuaged with a likeness, and now more facets of your doubtful being can seek verification within fields of vision, hence more curiosity will find its likeness and vanish again to make room for more curiosities. Alas, it blossoms.

Curiosity raised in the absence of satiation is for the Jesters.  Their fields of vision take root in deep waters and soils of acceptance of Life’s Mystery, and stay tuned for more on how to jest.    

Playing pretend that you understand that, This Clown will answer your question of how I "make money." Well, I lurk to and from outposts which beam their promises of Money among a field labeled Education.  The darker the field, the more obvious the light.  And education’s dark corners are the ends of each school day.  Therefore I work in After-School Enrichment Programs.  This Educational subdivision is a Sideshow that we can bestow with ephemeral descriptions at a later date.  For now, let us take rest in brief satisfaction. 

The Worm: ‘Allo

Sarah: Did you say … hello?

The Worm: No, I said "allo," but that’s close enough

-Labyrinth

 

There is no need for readers to be welcomed here, or made privy to what lies ahead.  We should be quite used to entry points unblemished by description.  There stand no signs on shores reducing the ocean’s mysterious presence to an explanation.  Commence swimming and absorb your mistakes.  Discover your footing amongst the shallow pools near shore.  And invent faith within lost currents. Eventual death, that event when tides rip us into multitudes, is thereby acknowledged herein and rendered one of the ten-thousand things.  Continue swimming readers! You are not at your own risk since your author creates the forecast.  

SIC INFIT